Well, tomorrow is Ana’s birthday. Like most teens, Ana was very selective about what photos she posted to social media and I’d gotten into the (good) habit of asking her before I posted anything. Since she died, I love seeing photos of her, but I’d preferred people didn’t use her image as their Facebook profile picture. It was initially very jarring for me to read someone’s update, comment, or text and see Ana’s face. It brought up so much – including a sort of wild hope that she was still here.
This morning I realized that those initial feelings had faded. I want to see Ana’s face wherever I can. I want people to remember her and feel blessed when they do (even if it’s just a Facebook profile photo).
The depth of my grief hasn’t changed, but the shape of it is different. I expect that with each passing year and with each birthday, this will always be the case.
So, in the spirit of this new realization, I hope you’ll share of photo of Ana tomorrow on your timeline or make her face your temporary profile picture. Here’s one of my favorites…
This was taken in January 2017 at the last Rock Academy show she attended. She looks beautiful and fragile, but still somehow strong. I miss her so much. In addition (or in lieu of) photos, cranes are always welcome too! I plan to leave some on the trail tomorrow. Please feel free to share this post far and wide. Thank you all for loving my girl.